Not my voice

We had an everybody-sing-32-bars day in voice class.  I knew I wasn’t ready to bring something new in, so I brought back “Something Wonderful”, which fits my voice well enough, but holy crap I can’t stand the sound of my own head voice in its lower range. And nerves take control, and I forget how to breathe.

Once I was up above A4, I was fine, even surprisingly strong for me.  But between middle-C and there, yipes.  I just don’t hear my own voice.  It’s someone else’s, and I hate it.  Give me chest voice tunes, and I’ll belt for days, with nerves that only slightly feel like I’m going to collapse in a heap of weak knees and breathy heaves.  But my “legit” voice?  Nope.

This is all Cat Brain, the critical interior voice that assumes there’s no chance you’ll improve because every attempt up to this point has been less than stellar.  Back to chest voice for the next round; I need my confidence back.